


he fell in love

by ObsidianEagle



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Universe, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Wedding, a small journey through time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 13:11:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15143798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianEagle/pseuds/ObsidianEagle
Summary: He fell in love.And that was his biggest mistake, but also a dare he would never turn back on.Alec wouldn’t exactly call it a dare, but the way his life has played out over these past few months, he begins to believe that maybe, he’s right. A bitter cold bites away at the consuming heat of a blinding love, where he can’t focus, can’t think.





	he fell in love

**Author's Note:**

> just a lil' something to break me out of my writers block, enjoy! also #saveshadowhunters
> 
> (not beta'd sorry!)

He fell in love.

And that was his biggest mistake, but also a dare he would never turn back on.

Alec wouldn’t exactly call it a dare, but the way his life has played out over these past few months, he begins to believe that maybe, he’s right. A bitter cold bites away at the consuming heat of a blinding love, where he can’t focus, can’t think.

Because that’s what love is when boiled down to the basic components, blinding and fleeting -- a connection between two beings that are capable of emotion. That emotion bounces back like a basketball thrown to the floor, gaining momentum from when that person’s heart was thrown, daring themselves.

A dare? Or a sickening hope?

Alec couldn’t see what Magnus wanted when he first met him, when he joked about doing him _pro-bono_ in exchange for his help in Isabelle’s trial. He didn’t say yes, but there was this little _twinge_ inside his stomach like someone poked him there. Alas, he still doesn’t know what it was to this day, or he doesn’t want to believe what he _thinks_ it is.

And then he remembers the drinks, the vibration as the glasses _clink_ together, a beautiful and natural smile on Magnus’ face. In that moment, he forgot about the world, he forgot about the piles of reports he needed to file back at the Institute about that very day -- and his world for what feels like seconds was just Magnus.

 _Just_ Magnus

He found himself liking it, wanting more, wanting to explore more about this man who captivated him. Magnus was his own soul, unique, strong willed and passionate -- and when they first kissed, Alec found that out for himself in more than the meaning of the word.

As when Alec walked down that aisle, when he decided to turn the dial himself on his own life, ripping it from fate’s knitting hands, Alec finally started to fall.

There was no way in those seconds of kissing him, Alec understood what love was, and he doesn’t think he ever will. Even when Magnus smiled at him, when he had that little quirk of his lips and the gleam in his eyes -- Alec couldn’t understand him.

One thing he did understand, is that he was changing, bringing light to something that was always there, just hidden. He’s always hid his heart, scared of it becoming rotten, bruised or broken from the world around him. They would surely judge when they found out _who_ his heart beats for, a warlock, a _Downworlder_ with a reputation that intoxicates whatever good name people give him.

His mother didn’t understand, neither did his father, as well as other people in the Institute who gave Alec wary looks a day after the cancelled wedding.

It didn’t matter. The only thing that _did_ was Magnus, how he thought of it all, _what_ he thought of it all.

Skip in time, where Alec sleeps in golden sheets, hugged by warm arms, kissed goodnight -- Alec still can’t name what he feels. He _knows_ it’s love, because he says it to Magnus every other day, feels it in the way his heart stutters when he walks by.

Alec sees and feels the same love back, Magnus’ shoulders dancing when he laughs, his head going back as he pats Alec’s chest, all the result of a bad joke. The way he smirks at him when Alec can feel the blush on his cheeks, or the proud smile he has when Alec comes home and says he had a good day at work.

Maybe all this time, he’s been thinking about it wrong.

Instead of living in the moment, he’s been trying to define it.

Alec, once again, has done what his sister pointed out; overthinking, taking an original thought far beyond the point of reason. He’s been falling in love because he’s in love, and there’s nothing else to it.

He’s in love with that smile, the soft expression of Magnus’ face when he sleeps, the gentle tickle of his fingertips across his runes -- he’s in love with Magnus Bane, a soul so old but inexperienced.

Why say that? Because Magnus suffers the same problem -- trying to define what Alec is, both mentally and physically. A heart broken so many times loses its understanding of what love is, what it brings to him as a person and how to give it back. He’s surprised Alec even gave him a chance, and when Alec sat there one night listening to the stories of his past lovers, he simply listened.

Yes, there was a clear divide between them on that box, but Alec soon came to the conclusion that there’s no escaping the horses that gallop behind him. Those horses are the inevitable, what every mortal fears at the end.

Magnus didn’t want to talk about it, and why would he? To lose this, the man in his arms, snoring softly on nights where he’s in such a deep sleep, not even Chairman’s tail tickling his face can wake him up -- it’d break his heart.

And this time, it’d be the last.

He always promises himself that he’ll love again, that if Alec goes, he’ll still be here in some form or another and he can move on. It’d be so much easier to say that if Magnus believed it, because even the _concept_ of Alec being _gone_ ruptures the ground he walks on.

A love so finite, warm, whole -- he’s never felt like this in his 800 years.

His fingertip traces a rune on Alec’s chest, looking into Alec’s eyes as he looks back at him. At first, Alec’s silence used to worry Magnus, but now he clearly understands this is his way of talking when he simply can’t find the words. He speaks in ways of action, gentle nods of his head or the slight turn of his lips -- all gestures Magnus can now dub.

If Magnus could place what Alec is doing now, he’d say he’s fondly looking at him, remembering every detail in the shallow light of the moon. Alec’s thumb moves across his cheek from where his arm loops round underneath him, smiling brighter when Magnus closes his eyes.

Mutual understanding, mutual safety.

They can lie here for hours and not feel the will to move, to change something entirely for the sake of it. Alec doesn’t need to be anywhere, and neither does Magnus, so why waste those free hours on pacing hallways and deciding what to do? Just like their love, the time they spend together flows naturally, and to Alec that’s the best feeling ever.

He doesn’t feel burdened by a heavy weight, nor does he feel anxious every time he does something.

Alec is practically falling asleep again, content in the warm sheets, the gentle tickle of Magnus’ fingertip moving over a rune to calm him. And Magnus keeps tracing, over and over until he feels the power beneath the angelic mark subside, a gentle hum beneath the warrior’s skin.

His soft breaths fall over his face, and Magnus opens his eyes to look at Alec, feeling that all consuming feeling of _belonging_ bloom inside his chest. He can see those blooming flowers as the red roses Alec bought him the other week, apologising for coming home from work late again, missing another plotted dinner arrangement, _again._

Magnus may tease, and he may put on a stellar performance of being royally pissed to get a few apologetic kisses from Alec, but all in all, they both know what their life entails. He’s a High Warlock, Alec is head of an Institute, they’re a busy couple when they are and _aren’t_ together in a working sense.

Alec fell in love because he did. There’s no right or wrong way to do it, and looking back as his dreams conjure clouds of imagery, painted all the colours of a rainbow stretched across a deep blue sky -- he wouldn’t change anything.

With his heart crashing and burning for Magnus all at once, he realised the term _Shadowhunters fall in love, and they only do it once_ is a shocking reality. Overtime, it revealed itself to not be so shocking, more like acceptance, then ignoring it completely.

He didn’t need to be told he only loves once, because if he pulled back the angelic runes, the Shadow World, the legends that surround their awfully domestic scene -- Alec is simply a man, a man in love with a man who loves him back.

Magnus dreams too, and one night, he dreamt that he met Alec, simply mundanes, chatting over coffee and seeing that awfully shy blush spread across Alec’s cheeks when Magnus flirted with. It was so easy in that dream, to not have to worry about a demon at every turn, to simply _live._

But Magnus won’t ask to change that, even if he had all that magic in the world to change their reality, he wouldn’t.

This, what they have, what they’re going to have as Magnus pushes his engagement ring around his finger with his thumb -- it’s the brightest, most grounding emotion Magnus has felt in his entire existence.

A bold statement, but how can he explain love when every time he’s fallen, its felt different from the last? If his ex’s were a step, Alec is a leap, a leap into arms that weren’t so sure he could carry him.

Walking through those doors at Alec and Lydia’s supposed _wedding --_ it was a risk, and Alec continuously reminds him that. Why? Because if Magnus didn’t stand at the start of that aisle, Alec probably wouldn’t be here right now, dreaming peacefully.

In a few weeks, Magnus will be doing it again, but this time, it’ll be for real.

Their kiss won’t be at the start of the aisle, but at the end, family and friends standing up as they applaud a natural and continuously blooming love between two people. He imagines flower petals thrown in the air, a gentle piano playing as they smile at each other in combined glee. And he imagines he’ll cry, as words that feel like a millennia ago come back to make him smile, that little tickle of tears at the back of his eyes starting to make itself known.

When Alec said he proposed to Lydia, Magnus joked about not knowing the wonders of marriage, how he said _goodbye_ but never wanted too.

A week later, instead of saying goodbye, Magnus says hello, Alec saying it back as the crowd goes quiet so they can read their vows.

Magnus wears many rings, but the one with the engraving inside is the most beautiful ring he owns, smiling fondly every time he looks down at it. One line from Alec’s vow was chosen by Alec himself to be on Magnus’, a line he holds close to his heart that is now forever with Magnus as long as he wears that ring.

The same goes for Alec, placing his left hand over his heart when he misses his husband greatly on a particularly rainy day. Magnus’ ring has Alec’s name, and Alec’s ring has Magnus’.

_Alexander Lightwood-Bane - forever in love with you, even when I venture to the stars._

_Magnus Lightwood Bane - forever in love with you, always and infinite._

Two years after that, with two kids by their side and a calming world, Alec talks to Magnus about his ring.

How he wants to alter Magnus’ ring, how he wants to speak new vows. And so he does, choosing the time after a night of making love to reach for the crumpled paper in his trousers, trying to read the ink that’s smudged in the haste to get his clothing off a few hours earlier.

And Magnus laughs, simply cupping his face and kissing him softly, wondering how on earth his husband still fails to form words in front of him, even after such an act.

That’s the beauty of it, they’re not perfect.

Alec has angelic power drumming through his veins, Magnus with demonic. They still have hearts, they still breathe the same air mundanes do, they still laugh and cry like any other -- being perfect doesn’t leave room for improvement, to keep learning and discovering.

Frankly, Magnus thinks it’s boring to be perfect, and even though he flaunts how good he looks, or how good he is at magic -- that’s all confidence, not a strive for perfection. He does it because he wants too, he wears what he wants because he feels like it, not because society forces him to.

So when Alec says, _“I want to change that ring because I’ve made up my mind, I can’t live without you, without this, us.”_

Magnus shakes as a waterfall crashes to the rocks beneath for the first time, the hope he had becoming real but too overwhelming, smacking a hand over his mouth to hide the sob.

Someone wants him, they want him for more time than the gods originally planned for them, wanting to twist fate simply because they _can._

Alec isn’t lying either, the sincerity covering his eyes like a delicate sheet of crystals, but Magnus soon realises that he’s holding back tears too. His life is going to change, but not as much as he feared. Everything Alec was scared of facing will still haunt him, immortality won’t change that or take away nightmares.

He should ask if Alec is sure, that he totally wants it, but just to hear him _say_ it--

Magnus didn’t think he could fall in love with him anymore than he already does, but once again, this daring and rudely attractive Shadowhunter proves him wrong.

And as they try to kiss again, Magnus smiling so bright that it makes it incredibly difficult to do so, Alec laughs. A bright, bubbly laugh as they knock foreheads, deciding to savour the moment as their hearts beat wildly.

He fell in love.

And that was his biggest mistake, but also a dare he would never turn back on.

A hopeless wish that turned into blooming love, acceptance, cherished moments and a wedding that still replays in their dreams to this very day.

With hand on heart, Alec can say that calling it the biggest mistake he’s made in his life is no longer correct. He said those thoughts in the split moment between taking hold of Magnus’ lapels for the first time, kissing him for the first time, thoroughly vanishing those thoughts as soon as Magnus kissed him back. Those cold bites he felt walking towards him that day rippled out, consumed by a heat that he now dubs as Magnus' hold on him, the natural and humble attraction they have for each other.

The old him, the Alec he still thanks for walking down those steps in the first place, for allowing his heart to find hands to hold his, to change his life in ways only a painter would be able to capture.

And as ages go by, that painting remains intact, their love hidden in the brush of each stroke, leaving people to admire and wonder.

He fell in love, and for both of them, it’s infinite.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! you can find me @royalbane on twitter :)


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